Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dogs and cats, step right up and feast your cheesy eyes on the most intoxicating delicacy the Denny’s Sideshow has to offer! It’s Mozzar Ella! Watch as she mesmerizes the masses with her swirling and ever-so enchanting dance moves! Watch her stretch with grace from pint-sized to plain preposterous! Run! Don’t walk! It’s the bendiest show on planet Earth!
We need to talk dennys… I’m worried about you.
Um what you’ve never seen a stack of pancakes wear a helmet? Safety first, buddy.
Sry carsonlame, but we’d never go against our senpai.
Honored to dap with Toaster Strudel and surf the Milky Way as a team of breakfastnauts. I mean, if you’re into that, too.
Nachos for breakfast just eat nachos for breakfast get that caffeine in you so you can eat your nachos for breakfast much faster get out of here Dad I’m eating nachos for breakfast.
Hurry, hurry tumblrs and tumblrettes! Feast your eyes upon our next sideshow wonder. Betsy the Bacon-Bearded Woman! Hailing all the way from Greece, Betsy has been carefully cultivating and grooming her delicious pan-fried facial hair for close to 25 years. Go ahead, give it'a tug and'a taste! It’s real!
At Denny’s all the little children get to eat free on Tuesdays. At Donny’s? If you can make it through the gauntlet of extraterrestrial slime traps, sure, they’ll let you fill up. But you gotta pay extra, kids. Make up for all yr moochin’. Nobody rides for free at Donny’s.
Ladies! Gentleman! Boys and girls of ALL ages! Step right up and bear witness to Mother Nature gone awry. Prepare yourself to be shocked and amazed as you gaze upon these sideshow oddities. First up—the incredibly edible Egg Boy! Recoil in horror at his ovular frame! Shield your eyes from the light reflected off of his porcelain-white skin! Secretly wish he would fall so you can see what he’s actually made of! Feel the intense rumbling in your stomachs as you begin to think of all the ways he could be prepared! Egg Boy is truly a Denny’s sideshow treasure and someone you do not want to miss!
On a scale from 1 to the-coolest-throw-down-dunk-ever-dunked-in-professional-B-ball, that dunk was about a medium-rare.
Don’t be fooled by snake-oil selling competitors! Denny’s Elixir is the only true cure for most diner-related ailments and hunger pains!
Deep within the confines of our claw machines, a race of miniature mole-people operate the cranks, cogs, steam engines, coal furnaces, and circuitry that makes the claw dance across their sky and choose stuffed animals with cunning precision. You see, the mole-people celebrate a grand sacrifice when the most skilled customers finally win a fluffy prize. But when they go days without sacrificing a toy animal? The mole-people weep. Loudly. We know this because we can still hear them.
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