Denny's Diner

As you stare at your menu, filled with many delicious options and various paths for your hunger to meander down, you are projected into your own perceived future and you can see yourself, in your mind’s eye, happy. You see yourself completed, full. Gone are the hunger pains, gone is the stress over which item you will settle on. You are at peace. One with the diner. Unfortunately, this decision that feels so important now, the decision on what to eat, is a waste of time. It does not ultimately matter what you choose and whether you get fries with that. We let self-importance shade our decision-making process, when in reality, our actions are akin to a pebble being dropped into sands at the shore. The impact is made, but temporarily. There is no ripple effect as there would be with the same pebble dropped into a pool or water. And as the tide resets itself, as our species continues on, that tiny impact in the sand is lost, washed away. So who cares which menu item you settle on? Life will go on regardless, uninterrupted, making way for us to carry out our primary function as a species; to use and destroy. Your decisions on what to eat are of no consequence. Plus, everything is awesome at Denny’s… So you can’t really go wrong anyway.

If the Masters involved driving Pancake Puppies directly into hungry fans’ mouths, then yes, we’d be all about the Masters.

Denny’s S/S 14 All Bacon Everything

Just rolled a nat 20 on breakfast. Must be at Denny’s. 

Hey pip-squeak! Think you’re Denny’s strong? Then come test your skillz on the diner strength-o-meter high strike! Betchya can’t even lift the mallet.

Hey guys, Denny’s Tumbler Dad here,

Um, kids, what are you doing here Online? What in the heck is a dap? I’m worried about this Social Contenting!

Bestest and Concerning,

Marty,

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PSA: We only advise turning up for delicious milkshakes. 

Denny’s Dap #5: The French Toast

Get it?!?!?

Denny’s Dap #4: The Drizzle

What?

Denny’s Dap #3: The Poundcake

Much like the Bacon Bump, this regional variation is for those with sensitive knuckles and a disdain for circular foods.

Denny’s Dap #2: The Slapjack

This is completely normal.

Welcome to Denny’s Daps! Are you tired of your daily handshake routine? Of course you are, you boring doofus! Spice up your casual human interactions with these twists on the classics!

Dap #1: The Bacon Bump!

Happy birthday Kristen Stewart! We hope you enjoy this gif! It’s no werewolf, but it’ll do.

Sure, steam punk is a waste of valuable copper, but it makes everything look so…um…old?

Weapons aren’t cool. Unless they’re fantastical guns with lasers that turn inanimate objects into delicious apps. Then they’re very, very cool.