AvocaDO’s:

• Eat them by themselves
• Put them on sandwiches
• Put them on salads
• Put them on pedestals
• Use them for flavoring
• Make guacamole
• Hold them closely against your bosom
• Carve it into the shape of an ear and whisper sweet nothings
• Paint a face on the outside and name it. Now you have a new best buddy!
• Dress it up in doll’s clothes
• Make a deep incision in the skin and practice your surgical suturing skillz
• Practice your kissing
• Line up 20 in a long trophy case for a great conversational furniture piece
• Take one on an adventure
• Read one a bedtime story
• Mash it into a fine green paste and paint your face up like an Avocado Freedom Fighter 

AvocaDONT’s:

• Throw them at friends
• Throw them at animals
• Set them on fire (fire is bad)
• Drop them off tall rooftops
• Cut one in half and listen for the ocean (there’s no ocean)
• Put them deep into your shoes so you get that squishy feeling between your toes next time you put them on.
• Develop a synthetic avocado-based skin with a mind of its own and the taste for revenge.
• Use them as transportation
• Take one’s relationship advice
• Take one’s financial advice
• Talk about avocado club
• Have one surgically attached to your hip
• Carve one into offensive shapes
• Use one to build highly advanced alien weaponry