Graduates, as you go forward into the real world, leaving your childish ways behind, with an education propelling you toward success, I’d like to impart one small bit of advice. As Mealedictorian, I feel I’m uniquely suited to give you one very, very good tip, that I wish someone had given me much earlier in life. And the tip is this: be a huge, smart, talking burger. People will be mesmerized, perplexed, and most importantly: scared as heck of you. That’s a good thing. So that’s it. That’s all I’ve got. I’m a burger, what did you expect? Now let’s party.