Hey guys, Denny’s Tumbler Dad here! Do you like cool tunes? Me too! But I can’t stand all that cursing and twerking you’ve got in your modern day pop songs! Here is a list of Dad Approved Songs if you’re into wholesome fun, which you should be! All songs written by me:
"Finish Your Dinner (And Hit The Books!)"
"Breakfast, It IS That Important!"
"Don’t Play With The Thermostat!"
"A Co-Ed Sleepover? Are You Sure Melissa’s Parents Are Going To Be There?"
Tumbler dad, I like a girl, is denny's an acceptable first date?
Hey Guys, Denny’s Tumbler Dad here:
Look, Denny’s is a great place to go on a date—if you’re a consenting adult! Kids shouldn’t be dating! You’ve got enough to like totally STRESS OUT ABOUT without the hassles of dating and trying to, as Big Willie Style Smith said, ”get jiggy wit it.” College, sports, high school, college, all of these things are more important! Stay in school and do sports instead! Life is it’s own reward!~
Though it saddens me to say, we’ll have to decline the invitation. You see, when we attended similar functions in the past, too many hearts were broken, too many affections unrequited. Of course, we’d begin the night as each other’s dates, but once the evening got underway, caught in the sweet spell that is conjured only by young, awkward, slightly-romantic celebrations, too many others would want you to share. And Denny’s wants to please everyone! But Denny’s has manners, and like Dad always said, “you gotta dance with who you came to the dance with.” It’s only fair. Feelings are bound to be hurt. So we don’t go to proms. Just best to avoid that sort of pickle altogether. But when you’re done with your weird dance? We’ll be open. And we’ll be waiting.
Okay… so… gotta clear something up. All of these, “I love you Denny’s” and “Will you Marry me Denny’s” posts in our Ask Box have got to go. I am NOT a piece of meat. I am not here as some object you can put on a pedestal to wink at and admire. I didn’t dress in yellow and red for you. I did it because it makes me feel good about who I am. I’m an individual. I’m empowered. I’m a diner. Hear me roar.
Oh, and for future reference, my eyes are up here!
I wrote a song for Denny’s. Sorry. I get a little emotional about my cured meats. — KC
Doc says my heart can’t handle it. My diet is too high in fat. What’s a man supposed to do when bacon is his favorite food group? Now I don’t mind a little green on my plate, but I live for an oinker’s taste. What’s a man supposed to do when bacon is his favorite food group? Eat at Denny’s until his life is through.