It’s Saturday. Which is hands down the #1 A+ best day of the weekend. Sure, Friday has that “ahhh it’s finally over” feeling and the rush of weekend anticipation, of having nothing to do for two whole days, but on Saturday you also get the sleeping in, the lazing around, smack dab in the middle of the weekend’s relaxation cycle, with one more unfettered day ahead of you. Sunday is fine enough, but it’s got that cloud of impending obligation hanging at the end.*
*Which can be fixed by going to Denny’s, pretty sure.
Tell him “kick rocks! I’m going to Denny’s!” he’s gonna be like “dang I regret everything I need to take some serious time to evaluate what’s important in my life and learn to make better decisions in the future that strive to consider others’ feelings while still supporting the person I chose to be” or something.
Drink a milkshake or look at a picture-book of bright reptiles or close your eyes and think of your favorite memory or do some sloth moves or indulge in an excess of dipping sauces or listen to even sadder music have you heard of Blind Willie Johnson and hopefully that helps pls don’t be sad anymore.
I have a good breakfast idea! A waffle in the shape of a hard shell taco. Then add bacon and sausage (like if it was taco meat) put eggs (like if the Eggs where lettuces) and syrup (like it was hot sauce!!) MAKE IT!!!!
Oh Dios, pues claro. ¡Que idea mas local! ¡Estás contratada!
dennys why would i want to eat nachos for breakfast
pls do not even come at me right now with this kind of attitude why wouldn’t you want to eat nachos 24/7 why wouldn’t you want to enjoy your life to the fullest come on “niaoll” be the breakfast change you want to see in the world!
Legend has it that a lizard-man-chicken hybrid stalks the outskirts of every Denny’s parking lot, snarling and peering through the bushes, sometimes frightening small children and scaring off the more timid of Denny’s visitors. But behind the scaly, feathery, horrifying exterior lives a gentle freak, just hoping to enjoy the fruits of his neighbor. That’s why we hire a Lot Tamer to go out each night and leave him some Pancake Puppies or Moons Over My Hammy. After he’s fed, he’s just the most lovable guy around. Still ugly, though.
Have a dish you REALLY like? Sitting across from a special someone you REALLY love? Show them by sacrificing a couple bites from your meal and saying something like, “This is my favorite dish and I think you’re the only person in the world I would share it with. Want a bite?”
PRO TIP: Section off these to-be-shared pieces when your meal first arrives. This way, you’ll still get to enjoy the last bite, which is always the most satisfying.
When attempting to impress your Denny’s date, try not to order for them. You’ll look pretty dumb when the waitress is all, “and what kind of toast with that?” and you stare blankly like a deer caught in breakfast-colored headlights because you forgot that there were options for toast, other than just toast.
Deep within the confines of our claw machines, a race of miniature mole-people operate the cranks, cogs, steam engines, coal furnaces, and circuitry that makes the claw dance across their sky and choose stuffed animals with cunning precision. You see, the mole-people celebrate a grand sacrifice when the most skilled customers finally win a fluffy prize. But when they go days without sacrificing a toy animal? The mole-people weep. Loudly. We know this because we can still hear them.